Im thinking whether i should start a new story since this story is booooring . Plus many think Simon is a flirt so yeh . Too bad Eliza is busy with N levels sooo boo .

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Chapter 13: Hopes and faith.

Everything went wrong on that very day. His head was filled with memories of her. The times they spent together, smiling, laughing, crying and frowning. It was all boggled up in his mind. Tears continue to flow out uncontrollably, it’s almost been an hour since he started crying and he hadn’t stopped. “It not your fault, maybe it’s just an unfortunate accident.” Nikki’s uncle whispered into Simon’s ears. Not long after, Simon passed out from the exhaustion and shock.
He woke up in a bed with white sheets. This was not exactly what he expected, to be in the hospital. He hoped that Nikki’s accident was just a nightmare but no matter what, he couldn’t change the fact. His heart felt so crumpled, his head felt like he just had a concussion. Every single part of his body was aching and he felt miserable. He struggled to sit up and walk to Nikki but what he saw was far worst. His mother came into his room looking very worried and angry at the same time.
He had this mixed feeling, confused whether to tell his mother what had happened. “I know what happened, her uncle told me already. You can go visit her later. For now, sit down and have a rest,” Simon’s mother told him. He instantly felt a sense of relief, because now that family stress is over, he can concentrate on caring for Nikki. He sat down on the plain bed and asked how she was but his mother told him not to worry and he can go look for her after he had a good rest and meal.
He felt a little angry at that time because he was being controlled but he had no choice. He set his hand phone’s alarm in an hour’s time and told his mother to get him something light. His mother agreed and left to the canteen. He laid on the bed, even though his head hurt, he tried to rest. He tried to find tranquillity and soon fell asleep.
He woke up only to find his mother talking with two people whom he didn’t know. “I see you’re awake, I’m Nikki’s father and I know you two have been more than good friends, but I’m terribly sorry. I don’t think this relationship will prove Nikki any good. I’m afraid I won’t allow you to visit Nikki anymore. But I can give you the time to visit her until she recovers from this coma.” said the man who was chatting with Simon’s mother a moment ago. Simon was utterly crushed, and was on the verge of breaking down. He tried to change his decision and even went on his knees to beg him, but to no avail.
He left the room after giving Simon a few words of compliment of being able to take care of Nikki and apologized sincerely. He left after that with his ex-wife who didn’t speak a single word. Before he left, his shadow casted upon the windows of the room. It was late about 10pm, and Simon could clearly remember how it looked like, so dreadful and terrifying, the single person whom tore Nikki and Simon apart. His mother felt deeply sorry for him and sympathised him but Simon couldn’t bother less. He told her to go back home as he wanted to be alone, in solitude.
His mother knew how he felt, and agreed to go home first but not before telling him to sleep early and not to think so much about it. But these words hardly seem to get into him, because his mind was too filled with thoughts to be occupied by others. He faced down on the pillow and cried. He felt so exhausted, on the verge of fainting again. He wanted to lose all his memories, he wanted to go back to the past, he wanted to do everything he could, not to change his life, but to avoid Nikki ever getting into that dreaded accident.
He couldn’t sleep, his tears just keep falling. He sat up and dragged his lifeless body to the windows and looked up into the sky. There were hardly any stars; almost everything is covered in utter darkness. It was almost as if it was representing his hope, of ever getting together with Nikki again. He wanted to see her, at least appreciate this time that her father has given him. He dragged his heavy feet and looked for her room.
Visiting hours were over and he was all that was left wandering around the corridors of the hospital. Everything was pitched black except for the few lights at the side of the walls. It looked exactly like the scene where some zombie will jump out and grab you but that was the last on Simon’s mind. He looked for her desperately, almost as if he was going to die if he didn’t see her tonight. Every single emotion inside of him was falling apart, except for the undying love he had for her, it was growing every second, every minute, every hour.
He searched around for a few minutes but he was getting weaker. He spotted a nurse up in front so he headed in that direction. Not long after, he arrived at the reception counter. He asked for directions to her room at the only available nurse who was station there even though she looked like she hadn’t slept for ages. She looked through her computer according to the name Simon gave him and gave him the directions. Simon trudged on, the nurse advised her to go back to his room but he refused. Simon’s legs were aching but he tried his best to preserve on.
After a few minutes of walking, he spotted Nikki’s room in a distance. He ran there, feelings anxious just to catch a glimpse of her. He opened the door, and sat beside her. He held her hands and gazed upon her innocent look. “Why not you open up your eyes, so I can see you once again?” Simon said. He knew she was never going to open them up but he told her that her dad was never going to let them be together again. He cried silently as he told her what had happened and that everything will be okay. “We could even tell him together that we love each other deeply and we will never let things fall apart so easily.” Simon said with a weak voice.
She looked perfect, even when she had bandages all over her. Simon held her hands even tighter when he stumbled upon the fact that she could never wake up again. But he realise that he needs to give her some faith if he wanted her to ever wake up again so he left his seat and went to the couch. He was feeling too tired to even think about anything now. “I can still think about it tomorrow, and besides, now that I’m here, Nikki won’t be alone anymore.” Simon said, before dozing off with a smile on his face.

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Chapter Twelve: An accident.

Simon left and arrived home within an hour. His mother sat at the couch and stared at him with blood raged eyes. She had her arms crossed and looked very furious. Simon tried his best to think of an excuse but couldn’t come up with any. He apologized and said he fell asleep at his friend’s house while studying and his mother didn’t believe any of it and let him listen to the music of her coarse voice.
After what seemed like an eternity, he was finally able to get himself to the shower and bathe to prepare to meet Nikki once again. While he showered, he wondered whether she was alright, despite the fact that her parents were separating. Simon knew the kind of pain, regret and loneliness that one would encounter when they had only one parent. When he got out of the shower, he saw a miss call from Nikki. He pondered about what had happen but he just called her back and waited for a response.
Someone picked up the call but, it wasn’t Nikki. It was someone else, someone whom voice he had never heard before. Was it Nikki’s father, or maybe her brother? Had her family found out that she had a relationship and forbid her to meet him again? These were some of many thoughts that where running through Simon’s mind. The person’s voice was anxious, as if he had seen a ghost or done something terribly wrong.
“Hello, are you Nikki’s friend? She’s gotten into an accident and I hope you can come down now because I can’t get through to her parents, please come down now. Thank you...” said the stranger. Simon stood, with his eyes wide open, jaws dropped, his body stood still as though he was frozen. He couldn’t move but he knew he had to so he struggled to regain his senses and rushed out of the house, ignoring what his mum had to nag about and ran out, took a taxi and rushed there.
Upon arrival, he saw a huge crowd of people surrounding the scene. His thoughts came down to the worst, was Nikki actually dead? He paid the taxi driver and asked him to keep the change and immediately push aside the crowd to see who was in the middle. His hands were trembling and his voice was quivering as he called out to her, but she wouldn’t open her eyes. Simon grabbed her as she lay lifelessly. “Wake up please! I can’t lose you now... I love you!” The sound of an ambulance echoed in Simon’s ears. He knew it wouldn’t do any good if he picked her up as it might cause her to have more injuries instead so he rushed to the ambulance and quickly rushed them to her.
Moments later, they brought Nikki to the hospital after giving her a minor check up. Simon sat within the ambulance. Fear struck into his heart, making him shake. He was uneasy, every time the siren sounded, he felt terrified as he was afraid that she would die. “No, I cannot give up on her that easily, I have to give her confidence, give her hope, and have some faith in her, Simon! She will survive somehow, some way.” He thought hard.
They arrived at the hospital in a matter of minutes and they rushed Nikki immediately to the emergency room. Simon had to wait outside and his whole body was quaking. He was fear-stricken and knew he had to do something. He immediately took out her hand phone that the passer-by had given to him earlier. He searched her contacts and called up her parents.
He tried to call them many times but he couldn’t get through. He tried using his phone but it failed too. After searching for a few minutes, he found someone he could call, her aunt. She picked up and he told her what happened to Nikki. She said she would get here as soon as possible and Simon felt a pinch of relief. But the worst isn’t over, because he wasn’t sure whether Nikki was going to make it or not. After an hour, her aunt arrived. They exchanged greetings and waited for awhile. “Nikki must have been thinking too much about whether her parents because they were splitting up. I’ve just told her that they had made up their decision to divorce and would not change. Why did I tell her that? I shouldn’t have...” said her aunt.
Time passed as if a minute were an hour, but finally, the doctor came out with the nurses following him. He asked whether we were related to Nikki and told us the situation. “She’s in a coma, and I’m sorry I can’t do anything more than this, she can wake up tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or maybe she won’t even wake up at all, it all depends on her will to survive. I’m sorry this had to happen, but I have to go now, another patient is waiting for me.” The doctor said in a professional voice.
Tears flowed out uncontrollably in Simon’s eyes and her aunt’s too. She dropped to the floor but he helped her up to the seat. “It’s entirely my fault, I shouldn’t have told her!” she exclaimed. Simon comforted her and tried to make her calm down, but it didn’t seem to work only after awhile when her husband came. Simon walked off and told them that he had to take a walk.
“Why must this happen to someone that finally loves me? Why can’t it be me or someone else? I love her whole-heartedly and I’m not going to give up on her no matter what. I could have given her my blood if she needed any, I could have given her my organs if she needed it, but why must she be in a coma? If only I had picked up the call earlier, maybe then she wouldn’t end up in this state.” whispered Simon to himself.
He walked into the toilet and punched the wall hard, ending up with bruises and his eyes were red from all the crying. There were several missed calls from his home but he didn’t bother about it at all. He was too miserable to even care. All this relentless and unforgiving regrets will probably haunt him till Nikki finally wakes up, but he wonders, if she would ever even open up her sparkling eyes to look at him once again.

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Chapter Eleven: Illusion.

They both stood rooted to the ground, everyone around them was glaring at them but they couldn’t bother. Life felt perfect at that time, Simon was delirious, finally being able to get someone who truly appreciated him. They whispered in each other’s ears. Apparently, she woke up because she felt his presence leaving hers. After noticing, she got up immediately and read the note Simon left for her and rushed down hurriedly to look for him.
After a few minutes of embracing each other, Simon told Nikki that he wanted to go home and have a change of clothes and they can meet up later. She agreed and they walked separate ways but not before another several minutes of hugging. When Simon got up the bus, he knew Nikki was very sad but he re-assured her that he will always be by her side. He told her to call him as soon as he got home as well. A few minutes passed, he didn’t get her call. A few hours passed, he didn’t get her call. He got very worried and decided to call her to ensure that she was okay. He picked up his phone, dialled her number but her hand phone was off. His muscles tensed, his head was full of sweat even though the air-con was blowing straight onto him. He started to imagine all sorts of situations. Most of them could only happen once in a blue moon. But as long as there was a chance, he would start hallucinating about them.
He was very anxious, so he got off the bus and hailed a cab. He went back to her house to confirm that she was okay. He was sweating profusely and used his white polo-shirt to wipe it all off. He was very worried; all this imaginations are sending chills down his spine. He tried to calm himself down by listening to some music from his MP3 but it didn’t work. He kept persuading the taxi driver to drive faster, and he did but he couldn’t go beyond the limit either. He tried to share his stress by sharing this problem with the taxi driver but he didn’t seem to understand, all he said was “okay”, or “I see”. It did help Simon a little by keeping his mind occupied. Finally he arrived outside her house.
After paying the driver, he got off immediately and dashed to her house. Outside her door, he rang the bell but no one seems to be answering. He kept trying to call her phone at the same time but nothing seems to be working. After a few minutes of continuous knocking, he stopped. He sat down by her door steps, and thoughts of her cheating him begun. This feeling is unbearable but there was nothing he could do either. He continued trying to call her but to no avail. Tears slide down his cheeks along with all the sweat. He was feeling so miserable but after an hour, he got through her phone. She picked up and sounded very sleepy. “Hello?” she said. “Where are you? Why is your phone off?” Simon asked her worriedly. She told him that she was sleeping and turned off her phone so she wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. She apologized because she forgot to call Simon. He told her to open her door and she did. Tears came out uncontrollably when she saw him. She was very touched by his actions and told him to come in.
She told him to seat on the couch and immediately turned the fan’s direction towards him. She took a box of tissue papers out for him to wipe his sweat and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “What’s that for?” said Simon with a surprised look on his face. “For caring so much for me, silly.” She exclaimed. “Shouldn’t I deserve more? Because I care a lot for you, and I should have one for loving you, missing you, protecting you...” before Simon could continue listing out everything, but Nikki placed her lips onto his.
After a brief moment, there was silence. Nothing was said, Nikki and Simon were both blushing and Simon excused himself to go to the toilet. He washed up and looked himself in the mirror. It was the first time that a kiss meant so much to him. He took a deep breath, flushed the toilet and walked out calmly. He walked out and saw her sitting by the corner, looking extremely disturbed by something. He walked up to her and asked her what was wrong. She looked at him and said, “Nothing” with a sweet smile right after. Everything was clear to Simon, she wasn’t alright at all. “It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me what is bothering you, but if you ever wanted to, I will always be by your side.” He said. She didn’t said anything afterwards but she switched on the television and they watch her favourite drama series together.
Simon thought it was boring but he tried to stay awake so he could accompany her. He couldn’t believe that Nikki actually fell in love with him but he knew for once that it was a truth that didn’t hurt for once. The feeling that he knew for once would be true towards him. Soon enough he fell asleep, but deep inside, Nikki knew he tried to stay awake for her. She continued watching the show for a few more hours and decided to take a rest.
Just like that, they both fell asleep. Simon woke up after a few hours and decided he was late for his curfew his mother set for him. He slowly stood up and gently laid Nikki’s head on the couch. He grabbed another piece of paper and wrote a note for her. He helped to pack her house from the mess they created while playing and took his leave to the nearby twenty-four hour coffee shop. He bought a packet of rice with his remaining money and brought it up to her house. He woke her up and told her to eat because she hasn’t eaten her dinner. Simon then went to her fridge and got a Panadol pill for her to eat since she has been having a bad headache.
Simon told her that he have to be leaving soon because he is already late for his curfew. Nikki tried to ask him to stay but he couldn’t. His mother had already called him numerous times and he knew if he didn’t obey her this time, he wouldn’t have the privilege of going out anymore. He told Nikki that he would be coming back tomorrow to look for her so she didn’t need to worry. She was reluctant to let him leave but couldn’t do anything about it either because she didn’t want him to get scolded. After a hug, Simon left her house and reminded her to sleep early and that he will always love her.
After he put on his shoes, he stood up, and started to walk away. He looked back and saw Nikki’s sad face. Almost as if she was going to cry. He was feeling guilty for leaving all alone and decided to go back and give her a kiss but before he could, the door closed. He gave up and decided to just go back, have a good rest and look for her tomorrow. He walked slowly to the lift, and kept thinking whether the door will always remain open for him to enter. But he knew that even if it was closed, there would always be a girl who will love him for perfections and flaws as well.

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Chapter Ten: Reminiscence.


Simon was woken up by a call; he picked up his phone slowly and noticed that Nikki was calling him. He immediately took the call and what he heard was the worst thing that could ever happen. Nikki was crying and her voice was clogged by her tears. Simon tried to ask her what happen but she couldn’t stop crying. She hung up after awhile and Simon was terrified. His mind was racing; his face was white as a sheet. He immediately called her back but his calls were rejected.
Never did Simon felt so petrified. His mind was in a mess. He was completely confused and didn’t know what to do. He walked all around the house, over and over again. An hour passed, and he had already sent her more than 10 text messages but she didn’t reply any. His hands were trembling, his spine was shivering. This fear was unexplainable with words or actions. He asked his friends what to do, but they all had no idea either.
He went to his room, switched on the computer and tried to see if she was online in messenger. It was midnight and all his hopes were placed on this. He went online but she wasn’t. His hopes were taken away; all he could do now was to wait for her reply. His mood became dull, he felt useless, not being able to cheer her up or at least listen to her problems.
It was the first time something like this happened. Simon didn’t know how to handle it and was stumped by it. He waited for almost five hours. It was almost morning and he was still very uneasy. He tried calling her again but her phone was off. All his friends were asleep and he was alone. Finally, she came online. He immediately talked to her and asked her if she was feeling better or not. He didn’t want to go straight to the problem and asked if he could go look for her. She agreed and Simon asked her where to meet. He immediately began preparing; he showered, picked out the appropriate clothes and put on his socks.
They decided to meet at a train station not far from Simon’s house. He rushed there along with his MP3 player because he didn’t want to be late and make her wait. Thoughts were racing through his mind, about how she would look like and what had happened to her. “If I find out someone made her cry, I’m going to bash that person up even if that means getting myself into a load of trouble.” He thought.
When he arrived at the station, he was early and he went to the toilet to check that his attire and hair was proper. He came out and found a place to sit. After a wait of about ten minutes, she arrived in a T-shirt and a pair of pants along with slippers. She wore very causally but Simon didn’t mind. They exchanged greetings and they took a bus to Nikki’s house. They didn’t talk while on the bus because they were both listening to their MP3. But they smiled at each other frequently and Nikki even fell asleep on Simon’s shoulder.
Soon enough, they arrived at her house. Nikki didn’t want to go up so they stayed at her void deck. Simon asked her what had happened then and she started pouring out. Apparently, her family was breaking apart. Her parents were getting divorced and she was the sole reason holding the family together. She was confused and didn’t know who to follow. Simon comforted and told her that he was from a broken family. “You shouldn’t try to interrupt them; just let them settle things on their own, give them some advice once in awhile so they can think things through but don’t tell them what to do.”
Tears rolled down her flawless skin. Fortunately, Simon prepared for this and brought along two packets of tissue paper. He took one out and wiped away her tears. She laid her head on his shoulder and Simon placed his arms around her. She whispered to Simon, “thank you, by the way, I love you.”, somehow, she dozed off after that and Simon just looked at her adorable face as she slept. He was tired but he didn’t want to miss a single moment of this. His eyelids were almost closing but he tried his best to stay awake.
A few hours passed and she woke up. Simon was glaring at the sky, and noticed her awake. She asked her why she woke up so early and she replied, “Sorry I fell asleep! You’re very tired right? Want to come up to my house to get some sleep?” Simon agreed reluctantly as he didn’t want to bother her but he was too tired to try and refuse. She brought him up to her house and let him sleep on her bed. She went out to buy some food for Simon and told him to sleep as long as he liked because her parents were out overseas. Simon fell asleep within a few minutes after she left his sight.
Simon slept for hours, he woke up and it was already six. He got out of her bed, and folded her blanket and put everything in place. He walked out and saw her on the couch. She was asleep and the television was on. He took a piece of paper, wrote a note for her and placed it by her coffee table. He switched off the television and gave her a peck on her forehead and left some money for her. He took his leave from her house along with the food she bought for her.
He went to the nearest bus stop and waited for the bus to get him to the nearest train station. But in a distance, he heard a shout for him, it was Nikki. He saw her running to him. He stood up and walked to her. “Wait up Simon! How could you leave without saying goodbye?” She hugged him and just in time because the bus arrived the moment they saw each other.

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Chapter Nine: Too friendly.


Months passed, Simon’s feelings for Debbie faded into the oblivion. Days passed as per normal, attending school every day, completing projects, home works and such. Not too long ago, he met this special girl. She had the friendliest personality he had ever encountered, funny, expressive and most important of all, approachable.
Her name was Nikki. A name never to be forgotten for it was unique. She had light brown hair, with sparkling light brown pupils, along with a mesmerising smile which was complemented by her chubby cheeks. Every day, they chatted on messenger. Jokes were scattered all over their conversations, along with some experiences they had in school. Simon knew, he had a special feeling towards her, this feeling he had before, always judged the same ending, never a happy one.
They started out as strangers who met on an internet website, then became friends, now best friends. Every time they wanted to pour out their feelings, they will look for each other. Never again did Simon felt lonely. But he hasn’t even met her before. It isn’t even counted as “love at first sight”. They had every possible similarity, be it songs, food or even television programmes. Simon couldn’t stand a single moment without her words or voice. But he was reluctant; he didn’t want to disrupt her life.
He wanted to break off this relationship before it got out of hand, before they become too close. He didn’t want to, because the last time he tried to make someone happy, it only became worst. He didn’t know how to cheer someone up, only knew that other people’s happiness was more important than his. Thoughts ran through his mind like bullets. He was confused once again, every time this happened, he would just give up thinking and go to bed but this time it was different. Everything he built up, was he going to destroy them just because of his uncertain prediction?
Before he knew it, a week has passed and he still hasn’t come to a decision. They still engage in conversations every day. She made him laugh more than anyone else did, he wasn’t sure if she laughed at him, but he is confident that she did at least once. He wanted to hold on to this relationship so bad, he doesn’t have the courage to let go. He knew his feelings for her have grown too deep and it should stop soon before he really falls in love with her. Fear resides in him, for he is afraid he would ruin another person’s life.
After a day at gym, he was exhausted. Nikki had a headache and went to sleep early, leaving him alone. This was the perfect time for him to think things through. He wanted to still be friends with her because he knew it wouldn’t be worth it if he just threw away their friendship. But he wasn’t sure, because if she starts to have suspicions, everything would be in chaos. After all, it takes weeks to build up a friendship, years to maintain it, one second to mess it up. He decides to continue this relationship as normal, just being friends, but was it enough for him? His thoughts blurred and so is his imagination. As he dozed off, he whispered to himself, “Do you think I’ll be able to make her happy...?”
After he woke up, his mind was not organized. He checked his phone, and there was a text message from her. It read, “Good morning baby, I hope you don’t mind me calling you that, because we’re already so close. *Laughs.” Suddenly everything became clear. She had fallen for him as for he did for her. A mistake or was it a stroke of luck? He went to wash his face, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He continued to brushed his teeth and look at the mirror. “I’m think I won’t make this relationship go any further then this, because I’m sure that someone more capable of making her happier is out there somewhere that is sure to love her as much as I can. No! What am I talking about? No one can love me as much as I love her. She was the most important thing to me ever since we became this close.” He thought.
He took up his phone, replied and went to eat his breakfast. His appetite was especially good and so was his mood. After he ate, he started revising for his exams a week later. But his mind couldn’t focus, because he was thinking of Nikki. Every single word in the textbook was her name. He was obsessed with her. Something he didn’t want to have. His negativity was there as well, but he was too happy to bother about it.
His eyes was getting strained from all the small words in the textbook and decided to go rest for awhile. He looked up into the puffy white clouds in the blue sky just outside his window. The sun is glaring, but he loved the way how the clouds just float around peacefully. But in a distance, he saw dark blue clouds which often meant a sign of rain. Whenever it rains, it will bring back Simon’s negativity. A catastrophe was coming soon; his mind was all filled with misery again. He didn’t want this relationship to end up like the last one. He still wants to be friends with her. This friendship is more important than any simple relationship; it is what he live for. Although he knew that he could try to forget her if something crops up, but she is someone whom he couldn’t erase from his memories.
He crawled back to his study table, dragging his feet reluctantly. He sat down, place his head back. He pictured her, in a dress. Standing there smiling at him. “If only time could stop for a moment, for this picture is worth more than anything else I have, but it is nothing but a dream I have at night that will vanish by dawn”, whispered Simon.

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Chapter Eight: Silent breakup.

For a moment, Simon and Debbie were finally together in peace. It didn’t last for long. Quarrels broke out again, disrupting their life, despite the fact that their exams are closing in soon. Simon didn’t have the mood to study and his work was all overdue. He had no intention of making anyone worry, but he didn’t know why anyone even cared for him. Teachers started getting worried about him because his grades were dropping and so was his standard of work. His once neat handwriting has become nothing but scribbles. His attitude has totally changed; he ignores everybody, even teachers and his friends. Debbie on the other hand, started to avoid Simon.
She had someone new, someone whom she met outside of school. Simon didn’t know who he was, but he found out Debbie had another guy when he saw her one day at a shopping mall. Simon was with his friends, and he spotted Debbie with another guy. They were holding hands, and even hugged once or twice. Simon tried to look away, but they were his centre of attention. He went back immediately so he could stop himself from going to confront both of them. All the love he had for Debbie was thrown down the drain. He wasn’t needed anymore. Once a replacement, always will be one. He didn’t want to let go of Debbie, but he had no choice. For Simon, all he thought about was that the other guy was better for Debbie and he could probably bring more smiles to her then himself.
His mind was a mess after the incident but he thought everything through. He didn’t want that moment in the past to ever end, but now it’s all over. He wanted to hang on the moment so bad. His heart bled internally, his mind was crying from all the thoughts he filled it with.
Simon felt that he was nothing without her, but he couldn’t possibly ask Debbie to come back to his side, because she was going out with the other guy officially now. In the past, goodbye was the last thing on his mind, but now all he could tell her was, “hello” and “goodbye”. Thoughts were never meant to be spoken. Simon kept it within; he was exhausted from all this stress. He felt used once again, going back to his old self, quiet and dazed at most of the time.
Time and time again, his friends comforted him, but he couldn’t hear them. His brain was clogged with thoughts; nobody could ever make him laugh again. He got into a lot of fights due to his attitude; he had no care for life. He got into troubles again and again. Dozens of people worry for him, yet he doesn’t even notice one. He wasn’t being selfish; he just didn’t want anyone to care for him. He knew he wasn’t worth of anyone’s time and money. All that’s left are memories, something priceless but worthless at the same time. His heart was tearing inside out, bitterness in everything he tasted.
He was filled with regrets and remorse for not treating Debbie better. But Simon knew that she would have probably gone to the guy even if he treats Debbie like a goddess. His love was just not sufficient for Debbie, she craved for more. “Debbie probably just loved me because of sympathy, nothing more than that. At least I know her true colours now, all these lies; I’m tired of it all”, whispered Simon to himself.

blog at2:49 PM

Chapter 7: Wrong decision?

Days passed meaninglessly. Days got more worst ever since he agreed. Ever since Debbie confessed to him, everything changed. They both felt different and awkward. And being close friends, Simon knew Debbie had just broken up with her boyfriend, Edwin. He had many doubts about Debbie, trust is an important thing in relationships, but he couldn’t help but to wonder about it. Simon was always negative, and always commented on himself being short and ugly. Debbie would always get angry at him for criticizing himself, but sometimes, her lips will slip out some words that would anger Simon.
He always asked Debbie why she would even have feelings for him. But Debbie would reply that he was short just like Edwin, and she loves that. This made Simon suspect that Debbie was just using him as a replacement for Edwin. But he didn’t want to believe it.
Debbie constantly reminded Simon of Edwin, she told her friends that she never loved a guy so much before, Simon knew deep inside; Debbie didn’t want to forget Edwin and was just using him a replacement. It kills him whenever he thinks about it, but he couldn’t do anything to change it. He always asked Debbie about it but she would always say that she only loved him, what made him think more about it was that her words were never once convincing.
A few weeks passed after they agreed to be together. Simon felt stupid, foolish for letting her use him a replacement but he was used to it already after being toyed with many other girls. He hated his life even more, and Debbie started to doubt that Simon love her back because of his attitude towards her. Debbie was getting frustrated day by day, because she thought Simon wasn’t serious about the relationship. Simon sent a text message to her every day, but Debbie didn’t reply even once. He was getting more and more doubtful as well but kept it to himself.
Simon knew Edwin, but he didn’t really have the chance to meet him. They did talk online and through phone calls back when they use to conference with Debbie and gossip about other people. They shared happiness and sadness but Simon didn’t really like Edwin deep inside. Edwin had a very mean attitude, constantly insulting people and criticizing them. He often agitates Simon and others around him, leaving Debbie to clean up the mess. After Debbie and Edwin broke up, they never talked again because Debbie was their sole reason of being friends.
The heat was getting into Simon’s head; he couldn’t take all this pressure and wanted to spill everything he had kept to her. How he felt about the relationship, it would get them into an argument, but he wanted to know the truth badly. He muffled to her, “Debbie… do you really love me? Or are your words nothing but lies? Seriously, I’m getting sick of hearing you blabber about Edwin. Every time you talk to me, he will be in the topic. You make me burn in jealousy. I hate the feeling but I don’t have the courage to tell you until today. I do love you but I know you still have feelings for Edwin. You deny it, but ask yourself. Deep inside, you still love him more than me, more than anyone else.” Silent tears slid down Simon’s cheeks as he said those words, but Debbie on other hand, burst into tears, she tried to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. She was always sensitive to the words anyone said, which is also why one of the reasons why Simon didn’t want to tell her this. Simon comforted her, apologized and gave her time to cool down. He looked around for a bench and escorted her there and sat there together.
“You know, I wish time would stop now because you are by my side. My feelings for Edwin had faded ever since I’ve professed my love to you, but honestly, I’ll tell you, I can’t get him off my mind. You can call it love, you can call it yearning, but I don’t even love him anymore. All I want now is you, Simon. You’re the only one that can emancipate me from this misery. Believe it or not, it’s up to you. It’s your choice whether you want to continue this relationship or just be friends because I guess it’s all the same to you. Fate has is in no position to judge us”, Said Debbie while looking up at the clouds in the sky.
Simon nodded, “I still want to be with you, but promise me that you’ll take good care of yourself, because I can’t be there for you always. I might pick you up when you’re down, but I can’t do it alone, you have to help as well. Please don’t cry when I’m not around, because then, you won’t have my shoulder to lean on. I love you.” Debbie set her head on Simon’s shoulder as they watch the day fade away into darkness, for once they were happy together.

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Chapter 6: Questions.

The very next day, Simon went to school to complete his coursework as it needed to be handed up very soon. It wasn’t compulsory but Simon just wanted to go to clear his mind. His head was filled with thoughts, about Debbie, about Tiffany, about everything else that has to do with his life. These relentless thoughts corrupted his mind, changing his mindsets. Everything that once had hope is now nothing but dreadful lies.
“The sky is grey, I remember it being a different color, but now I guess I just have to get used to it. I really love Debbie. Why did I refuse to be with her? Was it that I was being too picky? Or am I really hoping that I do not bring her down with me? She’ll be much happier without me, but I just love her so much, I don’t want to give up on her. She was my only source of happiness, but now, I’ve given up happiness, for what? Will she really be happy without me? I couldn’t predict the future yet I refused to believe that I could make her any happier. Life is filled with possibilities, but I am nothing but a failure. Should I apologize to her or maybe just let things flow?”
The howling winds blew past, raindrops started falling soon after. Simon loved walking in the rain, even though it would ruin his hair, he would always do it whenever he can. He loves it when it flows down his face, this feeling of nothingness which can never be explained in words. He used this chance, and walked all the way to school when he could take a bus.
He walked the longest path he could remember from his scarred memories, thinking back; picturing Debbie crying in front of him just fills him with guilt and remorse. He thought, “I shouldn’t have turned her off. I could have been with her, and let her make her own decisions, whether or not I was worth any of her time. All I wanted was for her to be happy, but instead, all I brought to her were tears and heartaches. I was foolish; to think that she would be happier then she would be after this incident... Everyone even mistook us for couples back during the days where we would be together everywhere. But what is done cannot be undone. All I can do now is apologize and make up for all the miseries I’ve cause her.”
In a distance, he spotted Debbie. She was alone, sitting by a corner and seemed to be waiting for someone. Simon didn’t expect Debbie to be coming today as she had already completed her coursework. He went back, in the cover of darkness. He was nervous because for the first time, he had to prepare a speech to talk to Debbie. It took him a few minutes, but he got it up and was prepared. As he prepared to walk to her, he saw his former best friend, Jonathan. He was sitting by Debbie with his arms placed around her. Debbie had her head on his shoulder and seemed to be crying. The heartache that happened once back one year ago, struck him again. His hands were clenched. He grabbed his bag, threw it on the floor. Sat against the wall and cursed himself. Everything he wanted to do had backfired. Was this fate? He once thought that even the darkest of moments could have a miracle. But now, he is convinced that even miracles are nothing but lies after all.
Why did all these mishaps happen on him? God was taunting him, making him a fool in love. “So today you say you love me, and the next day you go with my best friend? Sometimes I wonder, can anyone even prove that this word, love, exists or not.” It takes a guy to bleed, but a man to cry. His eyes were getting watery, but he held it back. He picked up his bag, and continued his walk past Debbie. It wasn’t his choice, because the workshop was situated at the back of the pathway.
As he walked past Debbie, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears started to flow out, but he kept his face as low as possible. Debbie spotted him as soon as he tried to brisk past them and stopped him. She called out for him, and said hi. Simon greeted back and told her that he got to rush to the workshop as he was late. Debbie brushed off Jonathan’s arm and ran to Simon.
“Wait up Simon! You’re going to go finish off your coursework right? I’m coming with you, is that okay with you?” said Debbie with eyes still swollen from all the crying she did. Simon nodded and they went off, leaving Jonathan alone. While walking to the workshop, Debbie spotted tears on Simon’s face, and questioned him why he was crying. Simon replied, “It’s just sweat...” Debbie smiled and said “I’m not angry at you by the way, just keep in mind that I still have feelings for you.” Debbie hopped off, and told Simon that she will be coming later as she would be going to the ladies to wipe off the tears she shed for him. Simon smiled, and told her, “Okay! I’ll wait for you.”

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Chapter 5: Unspoken words.

“Simon, actually I had a crush on you since we became best friends. I don’t know why I’ve fallen for you but I really love you”, said Debbie in the cacophony of voices around them. Simon replied with a smile, “Is this some kind of joke, or are you for real? We’ve been joking with each other since the day we met and it’s hard to believe whether you are for real or not.” Debbie felt an urge to tell him the truth, but kept it back because he knew Simon wouldn’t believe her unless she really prove it but she couldn’t accomplish now so she said that she was just joking with him and besides she didn’t want him to have one more additional thing to worry about. They both laughed it off but deep inside, her heart was breaking apart.
Just like that, her plan was abandoned. Luckily for Debbie, she didn’t tell him at this bad time because he was feeling very vexed over the memories that was in burst into his mind when he had just managed to get over them and Simon would probably question why she love him over and over again. Debbie always had dreams of him and her together, holding hands and having “imaginary” dates. All this dreams shall remain as they are because dreams never come true unless you do something to make it happen. Back in class, Simon whispered to Debbie to meet him after school because he wanted to tell her something regarding today.
They met by the back of the classroom corridor. “I knew you were serious when you said you loved me, from that look in your eyes, I knew. But, now isn’t a suitable time for us to be together because after the Tiffany incident, I’m afraid to love anyone now, and besides, I had feelings for you before I even met her. But now, it’s all too late because she took my heart and kept it somewhere where I couldn’t find. Besides, with your amazing personality and looks, I bet you can find someone much better than me. I’m not worth your time; I’m probably the worst guy for you. Sorry for not being good enough for you. Thank you for always being there for me but now, I’d prefer if you do not comfort me anymore because I’ll be just wasting your time. All I have to say now is, Goodbye.” Simon meant every single word he said, he knew it would make Debbie cry, but he knew it would all be better this way. Simon turned and walked away with tears rolling down his face.
Debbie stood rooted to the ground, and did not expect Simon to say anything like that to her. She burst into tears, attracting nearby attention. All her peers fluttered to her side and comforted her. They all stared at Simon and knew it had something to do with him. Simon paid a price, and knew it was worth it because it would make Debbie much happier than she will ever be. Ever since they became friends, she would be sad every time he is so he wanted to use this chance to make Debbie happier in the future. Everybody isolated Simon, because Debbie was popular in school, everybody sided with her and assumed that Simon insulted her.
It was late evening, about seven pm. School has just ended because there was intensive remedial for everyone as the exams were round the corner. Simon walked home alone, with his heavy schoolbag. He walked a void deck, dropped his bag, sat there and thought deeply. “I might have lost all my friends, but at least, Debbie will finally be able to get a nice guy to take care of her. Unlike me, I can’t even cheer her up when she’s down. Hah, actually, deep inside, I do love you, Debbie...”

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Chapter 4: Best friends.

Simon was feeling extremely unwell and sad after he reached school. Once he stepped into the class, everyone looked at him. Rain drops dripped down his fringe. He walked to his desk and sat down, looking down the whole time. He felt very frustrated and wanted to let out his tears badly but he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the class, he kept it in, all of it. His friends told him to come join them to chat but he refused and laid his head on his desk without caring if his friends would give him a reply or not.
One of his friends walked over to him and sat down beside him. Debbie was one of Simon’s best friends. She was the first to take notice of Simon when he walked in the class looking all gloomy and take initiative to go comfort him. Simon looked up with half-squinted eyes. She asked what was wrong, but being friend with Simon for almost 9 years, he probably wouldn’t even tell her but she just wanted to make sure that he was okay. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just a little sad, that’s all”, smiled Simon.
Debbie was a bright girl with slight natural brown hair, huge eyes, just like those of a doll and loves being around with Simon. She is friendly most of the time but very aggressive to those who provoke her but particularly those who picked on Simon.
Simon was sulking a lot during school today, even at his favourite lessons. Debbie tried her best to cheer him up but knew that she have to leave him alone to think things through. Simon knew everyone was trying to help him but he didn’t want to accept it because he knew it would only cause more trouble to them. He hoped for a miracle, sitting by the pillars of the staircase looking at the clouds above. “The clouds remind me of her, because she is almost as beautiful are they are”, whispered Simon to himself.
Debbie came along, looking for Simon. She stood by him and told him that everything is going to be okay because she’s here for him now. The sign was obvious, but Simon was too engaged in the clouds to take notice of it. He continued staring up above the horizon. Debbie was stumped, confused. Would she be doing the right thing? One year has passed since that dreaded incident. Would today be the right time to confess to him everything she had been keeping since she had been best friends with Simon? What if they broke up, will they still remain best friends, or just normal casual friends? Despite her strong front, she had a sense of trepidation deep inside. All the years they had been friends, might be gone after today, but she was willing to take this risk, even though she felt intimidated by it. She decided, that she was ready to accept the consequences and blurted out the words that will decide her fate for the hefty bet she placed on this risk.
“Simon, I have something important to tell you...”

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Chapter 3: Memories.

Days seemed to last for a decade yet nights seemed to pass so fast. Every single day, he thought of her. But on this exact day, June 22th, she left his life. It’s been a year since she’s gone, still longing for her return. He missed her terribly much but couldn’t do anything about it.
“Do you still remember the song we used to sing, in my house? It’s playing on repeat, just like when we would meet. I’m so tired, of being alone all the time”, Simon said to himself .They used to sit and gossip about other people, in her school and his. They shared their problems; tell each other secrets, which all led Simon into a trap, a trap that he will not recover easy from. He desperately wanted to know the reason(s) why she toyed with him, but was too afraid on the other hand to find out the truth. They used to spend the whole night talking to each other, laughing, crying. They used to confide secrets and fears to each other, now all they do is exchange occasional greetings to each other if they met coincidentally. He dozed off, tired from all the memories of her.
The weekend was over, and he had woken up early for school. It was pouring heavily in the morning and he didn’t have an umbrella so he had to walk school under the rain, and got drenched. He walked by the streets where they met for their first date. It was filled with memories which he didn’t want to keep because they were all filled of perfect tattered pain. He had almost forgotten these memories but these streets reminded him once again. He missed being loved, but he knew that it would only cause him pain again. Still, he knew it was worth it, to know what it’s like to really love someone.

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Chapter 2: Consequence.

Simon had to begin a new life, he didn’t know if he can do it, but he wanted try. He skipped school for a few days, and knew he would get into trouble if he continued so he started to go back to school as per normal. He didn’t find anything wrong but all his friends did. Simon was acting strangely at school, he wasn’t as rebellious as he was before, and he was quiet, looking down most of the time. He didn’t pay much attention in class and got scolded frequently. He went to the toilet quite often too, always refusing anyone to follow him. Frequent loud “bangs” were heard from the toilet when he was gone. Once, even coming back with a bleeding hand, although most of the time, his hand is covered in bruises. Not long, he was nicknamed the “emotional” kid by his classmates.
He lost interest in everything, even his once favorite thing, playing online games. He spends most of his time watching the television or sleeping. He didn’t get to know what a real relationship is like, despite being in several ones. Cheated for the fifth time in a row, he was getting sick of it all. He wanted to give up so bad, but he didn’t want to disappoint his family and friends. He hated his life, for he felt he was different from others in a negative way. Everyone was criticizing him for thinking too negatively but he didn’t know how to stop it.
Never did life ever co-operate with him. He wanted this, but he got the opposite back instead. He started working out with his friends at the gym every Saturday to let out his stress. He came back home most of the time tired and his body aching in every part possible. He fell sick often, mostly fever, or flu. Although never popular in school, he was quite satisfied with just having a few friends by his side. They comfort him and tried to pressure him to spill out his problems but Simon just didn’t want to say it out.
Life was never the same after that incident. He was isolated from his previous group of friends when the new school year started. Mainly because his clique started making new friends and he didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. He was alone for a few days, but a group of classmates “adopted” him. He put on fake smiles every day, to hide his sadness within. His love for her still lingers within his mind, disturbing his breathing rhythm.
Back home, he was lying on his bed, recalling her actions, her smile, her everything. He still foolishly thinks that she will still come back for him. Even though she broke his heart, he still loved her from the bottom of his heart. He laughed at himself, because he felt that he was stupid to believe that someone that looks like an angel in disguise will fall in love with a messed up guy like him. He was angry at the moment too, because the worst thing that happened was, she told others that she was still single after the day that the unforgettable mishap happened.

“I might forget your actions, your laughter, your smile, your look, the way you react when I say I miss you, but I’ll never forget, that I loved you.”

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Chapter 1: Love?
Simon was never a lucky kid, never did, and never was. Borned into a broken family, Simon lived with his mother and sister, his father was "kicked" out of the house. He was seven then, He didn't smile much, didn't care about anything either. Years passed and he got a close clique of friends. Although he never shared a lot about his problems, his friends always knew what was wrong with him, be it relationship problems, or even family problems. His personality changed, along with whoever is with him. When he is with his family, he will be quiet, innocent. When he is with his friends, he tends to be rebellious, disturbing the surrounding people. He hated his life, mostly because he was alone all the time. His mother and sister were both working, and hardly spend any time with him. He felt lonely, and soon thought it was better off this way.
He went out one cold and breezy night, in search for the meaning of his existence. Looking into the forests, and then at his feet. He was exhausted, sick and curious. He staggered to a bench, sat there for awhile and coughed hard. He had suicidal thoughts. He knew it was the only way to end his misery, but also, he knew that it would be meaningless. He was wise, but silly at times. He gathered his remaining energy, and walked the rest of the way home. It was a long road, but he didn't want to go back so early. As he walked along the stretch, he looked at everything by him. Nothing interesting, so he looked down on the path, thinking of how wonderful life would be if he could share all of his feelings and problems with someone else.
When he reached his house, his mother was sitting on the sofa, watching the television. After being reprimanded for coming back home so late, he went to shower. Waters flowed down his face, but was it really water, or was it his tears? He walked out of the toilet and went to his room. He jumped onto his bed, thinking about random things. Things started to fade in his head, and he fell asleep soon.
Woken up abruptly by his mother at 3 am, he was frustrated. He told his mum to go to bed, for he would be sleeping in his own room today. He took his mp3 player and put on his ear phones. With the music set to full volume, it clogged out his thoughts, feelings and sounds around him.
He went out with his friends the very next day, with a headache. Struggling hard to keep up with his friends, his vision was blurring. In a distance, he spotted someone familiar; someone he thought only appeared in his dreams. She had big brown eyes, with silky long hair, an addictive laughter and an eye captivating smile. All focus was on her now, with his eyes was glued to her, he whispered to himself “I really want her”, but he lacked of everything. Confidence, courage, looks, money even personality.
She was walking away, and he knew if he loses sight of her, his life would be even more screwed up then before. His friends didn't take notice of him looking at her. Simon told his friends he will be going to the toilet, some of his friends wanted to accompany him, but he told them to go ahead as the movie was starting soon. They agreed and gave him his ticket to enter into the cinema after he was done.
He gathered his courage as he walked briskly towards her. It felt like a long walk, even though she was only by the exit a few meters away. He finally reached his destination. His heart was shivering, and almost pumping out of his shirt. He took a deep breath and greeted her. She greeted back politely and Simon asked for her name and number after. Time seemed to have stopped at that moment. It was his most nerve wrecking moment. Simon had a presentiment that she would walk away. “My name is Tiffany”, she said laughing shyly. Her friends were all glaring at Simon as he was sweating profusely. They exchanged contacts and walked off to separate places.
He went off to the cinema, watched the movie with his friends, like nothing ever happened. He didn't want to tell them because he is always getting embarrassed by girls who dump him right after he tells them that he's got a new girlfriend.
Time flew by so fast, with his new friend. He spends most of his time, either talking to her on the internet, or on the phone. Bonds grew stronger, and he wanted her for himself. He met up with her several times, but he decided that today is going to be the day where he professed his love for her. While walking to the train station where they were supposed to meet, he thought, “My luck has finally changed! “. Ecstatic to find out about what will happen, he even got a gift for her, and wrote a letter for her. He finally smiled, and looked at the brighter side.
As he got to the station where she was, he saw Tiffany with another guy. He thought it was just a mere friend whom she brought along or bumped into. But as he was walking to her, the guy placed his arms around her. Simon's jaw dropped, his heart beat stopped, his hope, crushed like a puny insect. He wanted to walked up to her, and give her the gifts but the guy whom Tiffany was with, stood up and scolded Simon, snatched the gifts from Simon’s hands and threw them at him. He told him to stay away from her and never look for her again. Simon's heart is crushed, tears rolled down his rosy cheeks. He wanted to have a last look of Tiffany. But what he saw, was her laughing, laughing at his pathetic state. Blinded by love once again, Simon stormed off. He went into the next train that arrived, fumed with anger.
Never did he expect this to happen. Filled with misery, he went down to a nearby playground by his house. Sat there and looked up to the dark blue sky. The skies were turning grey, so was his mood. He punched the walls of the void deck, kicked them as well. He was crying, like he never did before. Letting out all his misery, pain and suffering. Although he knew, other people has worst lives, he knew his was lousy as well. He finally calmed down, summarizing what has happen in the past few weeks. He had the best days with her, and the worst days as well. He loved her very much. But all he got back were bittersweet memories.

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