Chapter 6: Questions.
The very next day, Simon went to school to complete his coursework as it needed to be handed up very soon. It wasn’t compulsory but Simon just wanted to go to clear his mind. His head was filled with thoughts, about Debbie, about Tiffany, about everything else that has to do with his life. These relentless thoughts corrupted his mind, changing his mindsets. Everything that once had hope is now nothing but dreadful lies.
“The sky is grey, I remember it being a different color, but now I guess I just have to get used to it. I really love Debbie. Why did I refuse to be with her? Was it that I was being too picky? Or am I really hoping that I do not bring her down with me? She’ll be much happier without me, but I just love her so much, I don’t want to give up on her. She was my only source of happiness, but now, I’ve given up happiness, for what? Will she really be happy without me? I couldn’t predict the future yet I refused to believe that I could make her any happier. Life is filled with possibilities, but I am nothing but a failure. Should I apologize to her or maybe just let things flow?”
The howling winds blew past, raindrops started falling soon after. Simon loved walking in the rain, even though it would ruin his hair, he would always do it whenever he can. He loves it when it flows down his face, this feeling of nothingness which can never be explained in words. He used this chance, and walked all the way to school when he could take a bus.
He walked the longest path he could remember from his scarred memories, thinking back; picturing Debbie crying in front of him just fills him with guilt and remorse. He thought, “I shouldn’t have turned her off. I could have been with her, and let her make her own decisions, whether or not I was worth any of her time. All I wanted was for her to be happy, but instead, all I brought to her were tears and heartaches. I was foolish; to think that she would be happier then she would be after this incident... Everyone even mistook us for couples back during the days where we would be together everywhere. But what is done cannot be undone. All I can do now is apologize and make up for all the miseries I’ve cause her.”
In a distance, he spotted Debbie. She was alone, sitting by a corner and seemed to be waiting for someone. Simon didn’t expect Debbie to be coming today as she had already completed her coursework. He went back, in the cover of darkness. He was nervous because for the first time, he had to prepare a speech to talk to Debbie. It took him a few minutes, but he got it up and was prepared. As he prepared to walk to her, he saw his former best friend, Jonathan. He was sitting by Debbie with his arms placed around her. Debbie had her head on his shoulder and seemed to be crying. The heartache that happened once back one year ago, struck him again. His hands were clenched. He grabbed his bag, threw it on the floor. Sat against the wall and cursed himself. Everything he wanted to do had backfired. Was this fate? He once thought that even the darkest of moments could have a miracle. But now, he is convinced that even miracles are nothing but lies after all.
Why did all these mishaps happen on him? God was taunting him, making him a fool in love. “So today you say you love me, and the next day you go with my best friend? Sometimes I wonder, can anyone even prove that this word, love, exists or not.” It takes a guy to bleed, but a man to cry. His eyes were getting watery, but he held it back. He picked up his bag, and continued his walk past Debbie. It wasn’t his choice, because the workshop was situated at the back of the pathway.
As he walked past Debbie, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears started to flow out, but he kept his face as low as possible. Debbie spotted him as soon as he tried to brisk past them and stopped him. She called out for him, and said hi. Simon greeted back and told her that he got to rush to the workshop as he was late. Debbie brushed off Jonathan’s arm and ran to Simon.
“Wait up Simon! You’re going to go finish off your coursework right? I’m coming with you, is that okay with you?” said Debbie with eyes still swollen from all the crying she did. Simon nodded and they went off, leaving Jonathan alone. While walking to the workshop, Debbie spotted tears on Simon’s face, and questioned him why he was crying. Simon replied, “It’s just sweat...” Debbie smiled and said “I’m not angry at you by the way, just keep in mind that I still have feelings for you.” Debbie hopped off, and told Simon that she will be coming later as she would be going to the ladies to wipe off the tears she shed for him. Simon smiled, and told her, “Okay! I’ll wait for you.”
