Chapter Eight: Silent breakup.
For a moment, Simon and Debbie were finally together in peace. It didn’t last for long. Quarrels broke out again, disrupting their life, despite the fact that their exams are closing in soon. Simon didn’t have the mood to study and his work was all overdue. He had no intention of making anyone worry, but he didn’t know why anyone even cared for him. Teachers started getting worried about him because his grades were dropping and so was his standard of work. His once neat handwriting has become nothing but scribbles. His attitude has totally changed; he ignores everybody, even teachers and his friends. Debbie on the other hand, started to avoid Simon.
She had someone new, someone whom she met outside of school. Simon didn’t know who he was, but he found out Debbie had another guy when he saw her one day at a shopping mall. Simon was with his friends, and he spotted Debbie with another guy. They were holding hands, and even hugged once or twice. Simon tried to look away, but they were his centre of attention. He went back immediately so he could stop himself from going to confront both of them. All the love he had for Debbie was thrown down the drain. He wasn’t needed anymore. Once a replacement, always will be one. He didn’t want to let go of Debbie, but he had no choice. For Simon, all he thought about was that the other guy was better for Debbie and he could probably bring more smiles to her then himself.
His mind was a mess after the incident but he thought everything through. He didn’t want that moment in the past to ever end, but now it’s all over. He wanted to hang on the moment so bad. His heart bled internally, his mind was crying from all the thoughts he filled it with.
Simon felt that he was nothing without her, but he couldn’t possibly ask Debbie to come back to his side, because she was going out with the other guy officially now. In the past, goodbye was the last thing on his mind, but now all he could tell her was, “hello” and “goodbye”. Thoughts were never meant to be spoken. Simon kept it within; he was exhausted from all this stress. He felt used once again, going back to his old self, quiet and dazed at most of the time.
Time and time again, his friends comforted him, but he couldn’t hear them. His brain was clogged with thoughts; nobody could ever make him laugh again. He got into a lot of fights due to his attitude; he had no care for life. He got into troubles again and again. Dozens of people worry for him, yet he doesn’t even notice one. He wasn’t being selfish; he just didn’t want anyone to care for him. He knew he wasn’t worth of anyone’s time and money. All that’s left are memories, something priceless but worthless at the same time. His heart was tearing inside out, bitterness in everything he tasted.
He was filled with regrets and remorse for not treating Debbie better. But Simon knew that she would have probably gone to the guy even if he treats Debbie like a goddess. His love was just not sufficient for Debbie, she craved for more. “Debbie probably just loved me because of sympathy, nothing more than that. At least I know her true colours now, all these lies; I’m tired of it all”, whispered Simon to himself.
