Chapter Nine: Too friendly.
Months passed, Simon’s feelings for Debbie faded into the oblivion. Days passed as per normal, attending school every day, completing projects, home works and such. Not too long ago, he met this special girl. She had the friendliest personality he had ever encountered, funny, expressive and most important of all, approachable.
Her name was Nikki. A name never to be forgotten for it was unique. She had light brown hair, with sparkling light brown pupils, along with a mesmerising smile which was complemented by her chubby cheeks. Every day, they chatted on messenger. Jokes were scattered all over their conversations, along with some experiences they had in school. Simon knew, he had a special feeling towards her, this feeling he had before, always judged the same ending, never a happy one.
They started out as strangers who met on an internet website, then became friends, now best friends. Every time they wanted to pour out their feelings, they will look for each other. Never again did Simon felt lonely. But he hasn’t even met her before. It isn’t even counted as “love at first sight”. They had every possible similarity, be it songs, food or even television programmes. Simon couldn’t stand a single moment without her words or voice. But he was reluctant; he didn’t want to disrupt her life.
He wanted to break off this relationship before it got out of hand, before they become too close. He didn’t want to, because the last time he tried to make someone happy, it only became worst. He didn’t know how to cheer someone up, only knew that other people’s happiness was more important than his. Thoughts ran through his mind like bullets. He was confused once again, every time this happened, he would just give up thinking and go to bed but this time it was different. Everything he built up, was he going to destroy them just because of his uncertain prediction?
Before he knew it, a week has passed and he still hasn’t come to a decision. They still engage in conversations every day. She made him laugh more than anyone else did, he wasn’t sure if she laughed at him, but he is confident that she did at least once. He wanted to hold on to this relationship so bad, he doesn’t have the courage to let go. He knew his feelings for her have grown too deep and it should stop soon before he really falls in love with her. Fear resides in him, for he is afraid he would ruin another person’s life.
After a day at gym, he was exhausted. Nikki had a headache and went to sleep early, leaving him alone. This was the perfect time for him to think things through. He wanted to still be friends with her because he knew it wouldn’t be worth it if he just threw away their friendship. But he wasn’t sure, because if she starts to have suspicions, everything would be in chaos. After all, it takes weeks to build up a friendship, years to maintain it, one second to mess it up. He decides to continue this relationship as normal, just being friends, but was it enough for him? His thoughts blurred and so is his imagination. As he dozed off, he whispered to himself, “Do you think I’ll be able to make her happy...?”
After he woke up, his mind was not organized. He checked his phone, and there was a text message from her. It read, “Good morning baby, I hope you don’t mind me calling you that, because we’re already so close. *Laughs.” Suddenly everything became clear. She had fallen for him as for he did for her. A mistake or was it a stroke of luck? He went to wash his face, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He continued to brushed his teeth and look at the mirror. “I’m think I won’t make this relationship go any further then this, because I’m sure that someone more capable of making her happier is out there somewhere that is sure to love her as much as I can. No! What am I talking about? No one can love me as much as I love her. She was the most important thing to me ever since we became this close.” He thought.
He took up his phone, replied and went to eat his breakfast. His appetite was especially good and so was his mood. After he ate, he started revising for his exams a week later. But his mind couldn’t focus, because he was thinking of Nikki. Every single word in the textbook was her name. He was obsessed with her. Something he didn’t want to have. His negativity was there as well, but he was too happy to bother about it.
His eyes was getting strained from all the small words in the textbook and decided to go rest for awhile. He looked up into the puffy white clouds in the blue sky just outside his window. The sun is glaring, but he loved the way how the clouds just float around peacefully. But in a distance, he saw dark blue clouds which often meant a sign of rain. Whenever it rains, it will bring back Simon’s negativity. A catastrophe was coming soon; his mind was all filled with misery again. He didn’t want this relationship to end up like the last one. He still wants to be friends with her. This friendship is more important than any simple relationship; it is what he live for. Although he knew that he could try to forget her if something crops up, but she is someone whom he couldn’t erase from his memories.
He crawled back to his study table, dragging his feet reluctantly. He sat down, place his head back. He pictured her, in a dress. Standing there smiling at him. “If only time could stop for a moment, for this picture is worth more than anything else I have, but it is nothing but a dream I have at night that will vanish by dawn”, whispered Simon.
